The Reaney family and Irish culture

Never in my life do I expect to become an American family’s friend.  However, I am simply blessed by God to have the privilege to become Mickey’s family friend. I got to experience what I see on American’s Funniest Home Video in culture, home design, lifestyle etc!

The first time I saw his whole family was during 2011 Easter weekend, when his whole family came over to visit in our home in the RAF, Washington D.C.  Mrs Reaney is very warm and comfortable to hang out with even on first encounter. Mr Reaney on the other hand seems stern and quiet, but he is a great guy as Mickey describes to me. Unfortunately, there are times when I have difficulty understanding him and I feel so embarrassed about it. Mickey has 3 other siblings – 1 older sister Theresa, 2 younger brothers Devin and Brendan.  Devin is in his growing up years and though at times there is a little age gap between us (over 10 years), I see lots of good in him. I believe that with his family’s great parental guidance, he will surely grow up to be a fine man as well. Brendan is skinny and easy to speak with. But I can always remember what caught me when I saw them all the first time in D.C. - The resemblance of the guys in the family: All of them have a rather straight face with little expression. It is only when you know them well or observe how they interact with each other that you see their colourful sides. Within the family, they are simply a playful and loving and also very welcoming to outsiders (something I think we Chinese need to learn).  I can’t over emphasis what great family culture they have. Besides, this family also gave me my first and probably last American Family birthday surprise. I remembered walking into Mickey's house and I saw a Happy Birthday sign with a cake on the table. 

I was like: "Whose birthday is it?" To my great surprise it was Mickey's family throwing a surprise birthday for me and his whole family was there. It was real nice. 

Mickey really respects his Dad very much and his Dad really loves him. Actually, his Dad loves all of the kids but I got to see how his parents demonstrated their love for him as I spend so much time with him. Calling him frequently to check on and update him. His Dad calling him early in the morning at 5am to wish him Happy 21^st Birthday (which woke me up… haha) Doing the sweetest and special things for him and his siblings: Giving a booklet made in 1990 to represent his year of birth on his 21^st birthday and most excitingly passing to him the ancestral ring. Cool stuff!

I had the privilege to also attend Theresa’s graduation ceremony and party. It was just awesome. Something that we do not really practice in the Asian culture: throwing a big scale party and inviting people to come for the celebration. It was really a great experience. I had the opportunity to set up the party for Theresa and enjoy the party. It was filled with songs and dance – Oldies and Irish songs. We even played Musical Chair, and I was the final 4 before I got ousted by Theresa… It was definitely a wonderful family experience. Towards the end, the MC also gave Mickey a belated 21^st birthday celebration song.

It was also interesting to have a short personal time with Mr Reaney. He asked me to follow him to collect Theresa’s cake and raisin buns for the party. In the car, we chatted a little and I observed his large coarse hands. It was really evidence of the many years of hard work in the construction site. I can understand why Mickey is different from other American boys: his upbringing from his father.  Mr Reaney actually reminds me of my own grandfather, who was a construction worker when he first came to Singapore from China before he made his way to a millionaire. Both have white hair, with similar built and a straight stern face by default, though both are great people. My grandfather like Mr Reaney is also very stingy. I remember his father doing something that caught me by surprise: When he could not finish the bowl of soup I made, he threw it back to the pot, demonstrating thrift and not wasting. 

Mrs Reaney as said is very fun to spend time with. I remembered playing a game called spoons with her and the kids and it demonstrated how she is able to connect with her kids on a friend level. I also had a chance to have an enjoyable chat with her which lasted close to 45 minutes (Reaney waited for me till he fell asleep). She openly shares about her family and is generous with all her stories. It is really nice. 

Brendan is a Liverpool fan!! It is interesting to know that there is a family of boys who prefer soccer over American football. Brendan even has a poster of Liverpool Steven Gerrad at his door. Cool stuff. He is soft spoken but definitely playful. The first time I saw him he was fighting with his sister Theresa. Oh and he loves Tang Yuan (Chinese dessert like rice balls with fillings). 

Theresa studied in Bridgewater College and majored in education. Something like Singapore’s NIE I think. However, Massachusetts is well known for its education and it is perhaps a “To Do” major there. She loves, Loves, LOVES Harry Potter. I mean that when I was there she actually went to New York to catch the Harry Potter fan and she apparently watches  and reads Harry Potter over and over again. 

Devin is playful and just like any growing up boy in Singapore – Can’t wait to grow up. I remembered watching him playing baseball when Mickey brought me to watch a game with him. That is the U.S. culture. Forming teams in the town and play games against one another. Pretty cool. Like boys here, he likes computer games and have problems balancing with studies. Global phenomenon. However, he is really helpful. Always helping me to carry things and offering his service in any way he can. Just like my hermano, Mickey, serving his family by driving them around. Oh yes, the love language of service is something entrenched in the Chinese culture that I see there in his family as well.

Irish people seem to be very inclusive too. At Theresa's graduation party I met many of their Irish family friends. For some reason, I was able to connect very well with them. Unfortunately, I realize that age is catching up as well cause I found myself being able to have a enjoyable conversation with elders over 50. They are very easy to mix with and they shared with me about their family and the Irish culture. Telling me how family is important etc. There is one special guy who was the DJ that night and he shared with me about the songs he had and we discussed about oldies. (Another sign of aging... sigh...)Remember that I said that Mickey's family are playful. Apparently, Mickey told me it is an Irish thing to tease and have fun in their culture as well. He was telling me about his experience with Irish construction workers playing jokes with one another. For instance, he actually lied to his cousin that he was straddle at Largon Airport when he was in Washington DC and called his cousin to come pick him up. What an ass.... Another example was an April's Fool's joke that his mum cracked on his father that he woke up late for work when it was still hours away. I, unfortunately, also had a little experience. His Irish friend kept pushing me when I was playing Musical Chairs with them. Good thing I knew about the Irish jokes by then or I will have thought that he was bullying me.

I had wonderful meals with his family as well. The most memorable dish is the Irish raisin bread. It is so delicious! Of course, I also deeply appreciated the meals that Mickey's parents generously laid before me and Leong. Salad and turkey and ham etc... They were thoughtful enough to make a meal for Leong before he left. Very nice of them. But what is most interesting is that they like curry! Apparently it is one of the most popular dish in Ireland. 

 

I really love the Irish culture that I have experienced. Family and a very strong sense of identity. I really hope that this culture will be preserved and that they will remember their tradition and values. Their ancestors suffered in the past due to famine and I hope that the upcoming generations will remember it and not take things for granted. It is also great to know that Mickey is really proud and strong in his roots and I can see why, and he should be. Family and roots, something Chinese and Irish both emphasis on and I am real glad it is still passed on from one generation to another. 

My closest Korean friend - Choi Yujin

The first time I met Yujin was at Dupont Circle's Madhatter. She was Leong's colleague and he invited her along for dinner and that is how I got to know her. Ok la, she is quite pretty... hahahaha!!! A very decent girl and easy to get along with. I will remember her as the fun and playful girl who always says: "You're so mean..." haha! that is what she always calls Leong and me when we tease her. Like most Koreans, she is very proud of Korea but the great thing is that she accepts and respects other cultures as well. She makes people feel comfortable with her and she is very funny at time cause she is a little "blur blur"... LOL!!!

 The beautiful Choi Yujin and me

We did many things together and got to know one another rather well. Ate a lot together and had various outings such as going to Georgetown etc. However, I will always remember her for one very special occasion: International Festival at The Washington Center. She helped me the booth and acted like a Singaporean.and it was so funny. She could lie only to the non-Asians though. After making friends with so many Singaporeans she could also speak some Singlish especially: "Diam la" (Shut up!).

Jackie, Sun Hwa, Yujin and me

I also had the privilege of traveling with Yujin at New York. (She stayed in New York for 1 month!). It was indeed very fun . We watch Broadway, shopped at flee market, watched ice hockey together and explored various parts of New York and she also brought us to Korean street when we had excellent Korean Tofu food. It was particularly good because there is free flow appetizers!!! hahaha!!!

Yujin and Me a New York Flee market

We really had lots of fun together and will definitely want to visit her in Korea or Indonesia some day! Thanks for all the fun times Yujin! Let's meet up when we can!:)

My big sister in Washington D.C. Saori Suzuki

I will like to take this opportunity to thank a very friendly and beautiful Japanese lady I got to know in Washington D.C., Saori Suzuki. I will not forget how I first met her. I was entering the Washington Center HQ where we bumped into one another at the entrance. We started to chat and she asked me if I am from Singapore. I was actually very surprised as I did not expect a non-Singaporean to distinguish my Singapore accent when I am speaking proper English to a foreigner (without my Singlish). The mystery was solved when she told me that she has many good friends from Singapore and that she has been to Singapore many times.

Saori was an air stewardess in Cathay Pacific in the past and that was where she met many Singaporeans. She would also often converse to me in Singlish and Malay. But what I was most impressed with is that she has a good knowledge of Singapore and Malaysia culture to the extent that she actually has a better command in Bahasa Malay than me. I am also absolutely impressed by her diverse cultural exposure and perception.

However, in all honesty, after the first time I met her in TWC HQ I thought she will just be another acquaintance that I made. This is because most people are friendly but there is barely any followup relational friendship after a first "get-to-know". However, this first encounter with a Japanese lady is different. She asked me over to her flat one Sunday afternoon for lunch with her with some other Taiwanese friends. I was very surprised as I did not expect such a generous gesture after meeting her only once. Since then we hit of as good friends. We will often cook for one another and I had the privilege of attending some classes with her.

Saori and me at convocation

I will never forget one sentence she said to me during our first lunch, "I am like a mother to you here." She has indeed been that figure. Always warm and frequently ask me to join her for various activities. Lend me her rice cooker and even taught me how to make sushi.

Saori teaching me to make sushi

I remembered that one night we had an international festival and I went up the stage to speak. When I was up there, I saw her running up to snap pictures of me. It felt like a proud mother taking pictures of her son. Even though I did not have the chance to thank her for that, it was really very heart warming and I am really appreciative of what she did.

We also attended Model NUM together and I am very thankful for APEC cause that was how I knew her in class. She often brings me to meet people and through her I met an APEC delegate from Indonesia. There are so many more other people I got to know through her from all over the world - Moldova, Japan, New Zea land, India, etc... She is also so generous with her praises to me and I feel shy about them as I know I do not meet such high standards as she describes. 

 Me and Saori in NUM APEC

It is my greatest honor to have known a friend like her and I know one day I will visit her in Japan. As of now this special friendship will be kept in my heart. Thanks for everything Saori, I will always remember you. 

Last day and checking out of TWC

The last day and checking out of TWC came... It was a rush rush rush day... For a start, it was hard to wake up early to say goodbye to my fellow Taiwan friends but I figured, friends are important and I do not know when will I see them again. I pulled myself of my bed and saw Mickey sleeping. I paused and contemplated whether to wake him up or not. I figured out that he is too tired from a late night of saying goodbye to many friends such as Jason Courtey from my class, and decided not to wake him up. However, I saw his blanket half way down to his waist so I decided to cover him well with his blanket. Unfortunately, I woke him up instead and he decided to go down with me.

I went down and I saw Peng Yau, Juanita, Maggie and Jacky. We had a goodbye words for about 30 minutes till the Super Shuttle arrived. The problem then was that Michelle Chiang was not there yet and everyone started to ask where she is and made calls. With no response, Jacky decided to go up and get her.

Fortunately, she arrived just on time for the shuttle and I had to quickly say goodbye to Michelle while at the mean time they were  struggling to stuff all their huge baggage up the shuttle (which the driver was not very happy about and charged them more for it).  Just in such brief moments, I said goodbye to my Taiwan friends and saw the shuttle drifting away which made my heart sink as I thought to myself "When will I see them again?"....

With a little heavy heart I went up to my apartment with Mickey and we started to do our final packing. We rushed to clear up the room but something unexpected, at least to me, happened.

Mickey packing his luggage

Mickey struggled with his luggage. With that I decided to pause clearing the room and help my brother pack luggage. I was surprisingly not pissed and objectively thought solutions to sort out his luggage - Reorganized his packing and stuff things into bottles. The only thing that I had in my mind is that I need to use this situation to teach my brother not to be last minute in the future, To cut things short, we had to rush clearing the room and was kind of late for the checking for the RA. What happened then was that I was late to call Wai Leong and he came with the Taxi later as well.

Mega bus in Washington DC

You see, we had to rush to the Mega Bus station to take our 930am bus and we were only taking the cab at 920. Even though the bus stop was near, we still did not manage to make it on time. Ie we missed our bus!

We ended up having to wait for the next bus. I saw Jung Song, a very nice South Korean guy, I got to know from TWC and remembered that he was taking the next bus as 10am. Unfortunately, Leong and I were also unable to go up the next bus as it was too full and we ended up having to take the 1130am bus. Basically, my plans with Leong were gone as we wanted to go NY earlier that day and have fun.

The journey was kind of boring as I could not use the power plug for my laptop and had to plan with Leong what to do in NY by consulting him. There was nothing much going on in the bus, but after 4 hours on the bus I saw many many MANY MANY buildings in one huge piece of land, I am in NY, the city that never sleeps. Exciting 4 days was about to begin.

Touching down in Singapore

25th May 2011, 3pm GMT: I am finally back home to Singapore after 4 months. However, I felt numb when I was stepping off the plane and I wondered to myself: "How will I feel when I see my family?" I took a train to the arrival hall within the terminal and began to see and hear familiar things that I have not manage to see in the past 4 months. Malays talking in Bahasa Malay and shaking their hands which leads next to touching their heart to show that they take the other person's friendship to heart. I also hear a "Aunite" speaking Chinese, Cantonese, Singlish and Hokkien as she walked past me.

I picked up my luggage and walked out of the arrival hall but I was still feeling numb... I searched for my mother but I could not find them. I continued to walk around and saw the famous local coffee chain "Killiney" and bought one of my favorite drinks "Teh Peng" ( Milk Tea with Ice). Loved it, but I still didn't feel much...

I decided to do something that is very essential... Test the weather... I walked out of the airport doors but ensured that I took out my sweater before that. It was warm, but not as bad as I thought it will be. However, what surprised me was that I felt a little difficult to breathe. I believe that it is due to the humidity of the weather and this persisted throughout the day till my lungs got accustom to the air.

My mum and aunt were still not there as they were late to pick me up, hence I continued to stand there waiting for them and  continued trying to figure out my feelings and wonder if I will feel better when I see them.

Finally, I saw my aunt and my mum walking past me but they did not spot me and I called out to them. (Fortunately it is not because I am fat but that I was just a blind spot) My mum hugged me and the thing I was searching for came to fruit: I felt warm and home. The thing is that I having been feeling a little empty and felt something is missing in the past week or so since I parted from my roommate Michael Reaney as he is like a brother to me in the U.S. After I left him for the west coast, I felt not complete as the only family figure around me is gone. Hence, I am looking forward for my family to get rid of this disgusting emptiness, which they did.

Once I got home and saw all my family together: Grandmother, cousins, aunts, uncle, nieces and nephew I felt complete. Everything was helping me to pick up the different pieces, piecing up to wholeness.

Even having the meal that Emily, my domestic helper, made for me for dinner made me feel good. The sight and the sweet-savory taste of the soup gave me back what I miss so much... Singapore food!

Taiwan Friends

One of the cultural discovery that I brought back was the a special connection that Singaporean Chinese has with Taiwanese. Personally, among the many nationalities, Taiwanese were the people whom I was able to connect best in The Washington Center. In fact, counting the number of deeper friendships that I have cultivated, Taiwanese accounted for the most. Perhaps a major reason why I got to know so many Taiwanese was due to NMUN APEC exercise as we has classes together a couple of times. However, as I thought about it I realize that the reason might be just that both Taiwanese and Singaporean have the commonality in our stage of development and the Chinese dialect that dominates our country.

Meeting the first two Taiwanese girls in the RAF - Michelle and Juanita

Each of the Taiwanese students has something that I remember them for. Michelle and Juanita are the first two Taiwanese I met during a RAF Orientation session. I will also remember them coming together to come out with a story to make me believe that I am invited for a date in the White House to celebrate Osama's death. hahaha!!! 

Kimi and me on convocation

Kimi, unfortunately, has a memory in me that she had a big roommate conflict in which I tried to console her a couple of times. She is also a very knowledgeable girl, giving lots of interesting insights during our class discussions.

Jackie, Robin, Maggie and Juanita (Night walk in DC)

Maggie had a particular connection with me being a Singaporean as she has 2 very good Singapore friends she got to know when she was in exchange in Finland. She actually gives me a Singapore-Taiwanese feel. Other than the ability to speak Singlish, she has the soft side that Taiwanese girls have and yet the career-driven character that Singapore girls I well known for. Jackie, I remembered was the last Taiwanese student to arrive in TWC and I didn't click well with him initially. It was only during the NMUN APEC conference that I began to realize he is a very sincere friend. I remember that during the day that we were checking out from the RAF he took effort to wake up early to send each of us off in different intervals. A true friend indeed. 

I enjoyed talking and hanging out with the Taiwanese. They often asked me out for meals and other activities such as day trips to Baltimore and Atlantic City. However, the memory that I will treasure most with them is the occasion when we came together to sing a song for our Japanese friends to encourage them through their difficult times caused by the 2011 earthquake. Chit chatting is also particularly fun with them as we are naturally on the "same frequency". They have a good proportion of my memories in Washington D.C. and I will treasure the times with them. 

I remember that scene when I saw the Taiwanese leave in the Super Shuttle off the airport. It was quite an emotional incident as I saw there faces drifting away. I will keep the memories and friendship with them, and will definitely go over to Taiwan one day to find them.

My Singapore in Washington D.C.

There were times when I felt home sick in Washington D.C. The people who helped me through the most are my fellow Singapore friends – Rebecca Tan and Tang Wai Leong. Both are NUS Political Science undergraduates in their 3^rd year and each gave me different forms of support.

Rebecca, though she is half British, she cannot be more Singaporean. She is constantly updating me about what is happening back home and follows the 2011 Singapore elections extremely closely while we were in Washington D.C., giving me regular insights about the election. Her sharing range from funny political videos to serious Singapore history. She is one of those who know it all. Yes, she is one of the brilliant Singapore girls that we have in Singapore. She often cooks meals for us and we spend time having our meals together. On her serious side, she frequently stands up to post intelligent questions to panellist during different talks. Even though she is often mistaken to be British due to her accent, I am extremely proud of her as she does Singapore so proud.

If there is one thing that binds Singaporeans together it will be FOOD! Our activities very often revolve around cooking, eating, going to attractions and then eating eating eating eating!!! This includes Wai Leong, a typical nice Singapore boy. Surprisingly, he was also obese like Mickey and me. An extremely easy going and very down to earth Chinese rooted boy. I believe that this is largely due to his family bringing him up in a Chinese focused environment. I mean he speaks fantastic Cantonese (a Chinese dialect) and a little Hokkien (another Chinese dialect), putting me to shame as I can only barely pass Hokkien. He is always supportive of what programs we have arranged and very easy going. Unfortunately, he had some bad experiences in DC but he dealt well with them. By the way, I think I forgot to say something very important about him - He is an excellent cook, best among the three of us. Unfortunately for me and Rebecca, I will say the Chinese meal he did for us, Laska and Claypot rice, was the best! Most importantly of all, he is also one of those dependable and capable guys in Singapore. He is always helpful and when he given a task, he does it well. I am also proud of him as a fellow Singapore guy in this way as well.

Both of them gave me different forms of “Singapore” needs and support. I mean one is a Singapore guy and another is a Singapore girl. Rebecca gave me “motherly” cooking and Singapore female entertainment when I hang out with her. Wai Leong gave me the Singapore buddy companion and strong men security when I speak to him. I thank both of them for spending this special journey with me and I hope that we will continue to keep in contact in our homeland, Singapore.

Another Singaporean that I met in DC is a guy called Robin (second from the left in picture above). The occasion that I met him was very funny. I was in the train with Mickey, Leong and Yu Jin to go home after a hockey match. I was talking in my Singlish with my friends which caught Robin’s attention. He looked at us and asked if we were Singaporeans. After we said yes, he gave a smile and said Hello! It was really a pleasant surprise to meet rare Singapore breeds in DC. We went out for meals (Singaporeans being Singaporeans) and became friends, I learn that he graduated from Carnegie Mellon and is currently working for Ernst and Young as a consultant. I really like him as a person as he is very humble and down to earth despite being such an achiever. He gave me career advice the first time we went out for dinner at this restaurant that serves extremely spicy crayfish (which is when I learn that Singaporeans tend to overestimate our ability to take chilly). He is very informed about Singapore politics and society, and I am very pleased to see that he is very rooted to Singapore. I feel happy for my country that we have a citizen like him.

The Singapore embassy was also like "Singapore connection point" for me in Washington D.C. I went there in total 4 times! Hahaha! It was there that I met Geraldine and Jerome, two Singapore diplomats. They helped me with many things such as the TWC International Festival Day and Jerome even linked up with my internship company, the Public Affairs Council to explore possible collaborations.  I went to the Singapore for Chinese New Year and Singapore celebration day among the many visits.

During a Singapore Day held in the Singapore embassy, I met this lady called Cheryl Tan, author of a book called “A  Tiger in a Kitchen”. The story accounts her journey back to Singapore to recollect her Singapore roots centered upon her learning traditional Singapore cuisines. As she shared, I began to feel my Singapore roots surfacing with a warmth sensation accompanied by a feeling of completeness coming together in me. I learn the importance of Singapore to me and it was then that I treasure home more and made a decision o go home to learn Singapore cusines and preserve our culture. Yes, D.C help me learn more about myself being a Singaporean, what I am and what I am not.